My Mum vs the Safdie Brothers

What an accountant from Scunthorpe made of New York’s architects of chaos

Okay Mum, would you like to introduce yourself?

Hello I’m Sally, I’m Matthew’s mother.

And how long have you been my mother?

Um.. almost 22 years. 22 ½ including pregnancy.

And more recently you’ve also become my housemate and my barber.

Yes indeedy.

So what do you do, what are your hobbies?

I’m an accountant, small practice, nonprofit sector. Um.. I like cycling. ‘Work to live, live to ride, ride to work’ that’s my motto.

Except you don’t ride to work anymore. You work at home now.

Ah yes.

You are also a massive film buff, aren’t you?

No! Not even a little bit! I’ve probably seen fewer films than almost anyone else in the UK. I like books.

Whilst living together in lockdown, I thought it would be fun to show my mum the complete cinematic works of my two favourite directors, Josh and Benny Safdie, in release order, and record the conversations we had afterwards on my phone.

Here is an extract from our final conversation of the project:

Uncut Gems tells the ballad of Howie Bling AKA Howard Ratner, a New York jeweller who can pay off his debts, save his skin, and win big with a rare black opal that arrives inside the guts of a fish.

“Well I'll tell you what I know, it's the dumbest fuckin' bet I ever heard of.”

“I disagree. I disagree, Gary.”

So Mum, what did you think of Uncut Gems?

It was just torture! No one could watch it and enjoy it. It’s so tense, so horrible. And it goes way beyond nice tense. It’s just…. Aargh! Awful!

But you liked it, right?

No.

But you thought it was good though?

I mean it had something. It kind of held you. But I just wanted done with it, I really did! Too tense, too awful!

I didn’t think it was that much worse than their other films.

Much worse! It’s way way way too much! Almost unwatchable. If we hadn’t been watching this for your little project, I’d have turned it off saying ‘I can’t be dealing with this’. I mean, if it set out to achieve suspense, then it achieved that. But it’s not a nice feeling! It’s really not.

But do you not appreciate it when a film really makes you feel something out of nowhere? Like when a film makes you feel an extreme emotion, even if it’s really not something you want to feel all the time, do you not think that’s valuable?

I guess. I guess it’s engaging. Completely engaging and you are in their world, but I did not want to be in that world. I wanted out!

But when you’re in that world, do you not feel the highs as well as the lows?

Well I was very happy when things did go well, but no! It’s just not worth it.

It was really good when I went down to London to see it with my old friends from school. Because we saw it in a packed cinema on opening night, so everyone there was really hyped and really into it! And I think it's a great film to watch with an enthusiastic audience, because they laugh hysterically at the jokes, but then also during the tense parts you could hear a pin drop. And in a packed room that’s just as impressive.

Yes I remember you saying the next day it was the greatest film you’d ever seen.

Yeah even after my 4th watch I still think it’s up there. Did you like Howard?

No, I didn’t particularly like anyone in this film. Everyone’s too shouty and it’s all “fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.” But I did want Howard to win. He’d had a shit time and I felt for him there.

What did you think of the portrayal of his gambling addiction?

Oh I didn’t think he was addicted to gambling. I just thought he was an optimist, and gambling was the tool he was using to solve his problems.

Yeah, comedian and gambling addict Norm Macdonald once said something like “if gambling is an addiction, then it’s the only addiction where you can win a whole bunch of money.” But I think gambling addiction is a real problem that does ruin lives.

Yeah that’s true.

I like to call these sorts of films ‘gut-punch cinema.’

I like to call these sorts of films ‘bloody torture!’ Just overwhelming tension! And I don’t know why, because although I felt sorry for Howard, it wasn’t like I was gunning for him at all.

Yeah, it’s interesting that you can watch a film and think ‘I don’t like this person, and I hope I don’t ever cross paths with anyone like them’ but still feel incredibly involved in their story.

Yeah.

I think they do a really good job of making you understand the pressures in his life. And even making them relatable in a way.

Yes, like when he was on the phone to the dealers and everything’s gone wrong and he doesn’t know what to do, I was thinking ‘I’ve had days at work a bit like that!’

Do you think this is the most you’ve ever been negatively emotionally affected by a film?

No. I think certain historical films and documentaries stayed with me for weeks afterwards, but in the moment Uncut Gems is just awful!

Did you get anything out of the film’s hyper-realism?

With the basketball player playing himself, I thought it was brilliant to have such talent and such elegance, because he’s so elegant, in the film absolutely for real.

Yeah just his height is ridiculously impressive. And it’s actually really cinematic to watch a phenomenally tall person just interacting and arguing with other people.

What was that thing you told me about where you can only make a film with what’s to hand? No special effects, no props.

Oh Dogma 95! Yeah another one of my favourite films is ‘Dancer in the Dark’ which is equally if not more upsetting than this. And the guy who made it co-founded and then abandoned Dogma. And ‘Dancer in the Dark’ isn’t Dogma because it has these musical numbers, but it is otherwise deeply grounded in realism.

I think there’s something really great about a film that’s grounded in reality like it’s got roots that go deep into the earth, then it can just -

Do crazy stuff.

Yeah, go way up in the air and really transcend. Like the bit in ‘Uncut Gems’ where the camera dives into the opal and comes out uh… you know where it comes back out.

Yeah I liked those little image-y bits.

How would you sum up the film in one word?

I want to say greed, but it’s not quite that. Because he wasn’t being greedy really, he was just trying to pay off his debts.

Yeah just trying to problem solve.

He was trapped, wasn’t he? That’s it, that’s my word, trapped.

Stars out of five?

Four.

By Matt Purbrick

Originally published in May 2020 in the Union Music Library's 'Comfort and Memories' zine